no one came to my 21st birthday party

We decorated the living room. I was out in the yard with my friends playing with skate boards until it was time to leave for the pizza party. I was 11-years-old and had invited my friends to my first and only birthday party. This included them going out of their way to not see me all day, to avoid telling me happy birthday. This isn't about whether 14 people is or isn't a lot of people to you. Another hour or so in line. This generation has no social graces. My stepdad was absolutely horrified to see us coming home like that.

around 40 people were expected, and it was going to be a great time. We seek posts from users who have specific and personal relationship quandaries that other redditors can help them try to solve. I woke up at 8am, went to class in the crappy cold rain. Let me convert this over to your experience. I had a bunch of different foods on a platter for people to try tasting. She doesn't need to unfriend the people who didn't show up, but if she gets very hurt at inviting people and them not showing, then she shouldn't invite them anymore.

He invited me to his apartment to hang and his place was fucking wrecked.

Thats what i have been trying to stress to her, and she said she is trying very hard not to think like that, but that its hard. We never heard at all from some invitees. Not all the books were bought so we went to an off campus bookstore. IT's why they don't have close friends. I think it may embarrass her, since everyone there will know why another one is being thrown so immediately. This is really quite an extreme number of people to not show up. Instead I have to go down there to find them all drinking. It remained that way for the next three years of primary school. I don’t remember exactly which birthday it was, I think 9th or 10th, we were all set to go to Chuck E Cheese with some friends and their parents for my birthday. All of my friends ignored me for the entire day, only to call me down to one of their rooms at 11:00 PM.

But anyway, what I mean to say is that I fully appreciate why she feels hurt. That means almost 3/4 of the people who had said they'd be there bailed. And when, a week ahead of time, I followed up myself to see who was coming, I finally received a few belated declines and one confirmation, with the qualification that the sole confirmed attendee would be late. I've lost a lot of friends over this shit, including my former bff of 10 years who would NEVER agree to any plans, for fear something better might come along by then. The relative told me several stories of parties and gatherings in recent years where no one showed up, including events with lots of planning put into them. 16th birthday, I woke up to my parents fighting. She invited all my friends. At the end of the day 2 girls were chosen and everyone else walked away jobless. My family paid for me and my girlfriend at the time to go out for a really expensive meal for my 21st birthday. I stayed a bit, left and threw my clothes in the washing machine when I got home. Or my mother was drunk, and would forget. Throughout high school, I was fairly well off and was usually pretty generous. After that mess I went to see my now ex-girlfriend at school because she refused to drive home to see me. That one definitely takes the cake for me. She had forgotten it. So I cancelled my plans, went out and bought some work clothes and showed up for my first day of work. We go out to dinner, she doesn’t have money because she spent it all on booze earlier in the week. My wife was rather upset too, and we went to bed sober and there was no birthday sex. After they were done with their exorcism, they left due to their conditions. There was a time, not that long ago, when occasions like this one would have been the center of American cultural life. I've been there.

The week leading up to it my (now ex) boyfriend had been ignoring me, typical stuff. It’s now 8 pm and we are driving home. The uncomfortable vibe couldn’t be broken after that and the party quickly died down. My birthday usually came a week after my first report card, and I got punished as a result with either no birthday, or a “bitter birthday” with just me and my parents, who would stare at me disappointedly.

I was wearing a new outfit that my step-mother let me pick out. It really messes with you. I was really upset and in no mood to celebrate, we did the cake and presents routine and my friends’ parents picked them up soon after.

Spent my party face down on a leather sofa crying my eyes out/sulking as roughly 20+ kids ran around in my garden enjoying a water fight party. Just tried to stay positive and let it heal?

So … what do things look like where you live? I organized a “taste tripping” party where you take these Miracle Berry tablets that change the way your tongue tastes food (sour tastes sweet). She kept badgering me about it until I named a local place that was semi-expensive, I also said Chilis. In the future, if you both have more realistic expectations for your parties, you can plan them accordingly so they aren't awkward. Everyone knows that birthdays are supposed to be happy. edit: Also, my gf is the kind of person to let this get to her even more, saying something like "why would everyone come when you invited them but not when I did?". I’d never known a feeling so painful. And she has every right to. I can’t remember. You can't change this memory, but you can help her move forward and forget by creating new special memories. It was pretty bad. She broke up with me as I was driving her back home. Nobody showed up. Our “training” consisted of us doing 5 hours worth of kitchen labour. My 30th birthday is when a shift began to happen in my thinking and is actually my most memorable birthday even though I only had two people show up initially.

You might just make it onto my next list…, My 18th birthday was intended to be a huge surprise, one that had been planned by my sister, mother, and grandmother for weeks. That is a fair point, and depending on where you live there can be a lot of social pressure to get expensive gifts for each occasion … which is why I think there is something to be said for a party (such as the one my wife attempted to plan) where the organizer tells people not to bring gifts.

Instead you'll have to do things like board games or video games, etc. There were probably less than 10 people there at any given time. 40 people said they were coming and more people didn't come than did.

Awesome. It was my 30th birthday, and my wife and I were going to be house/dog sitting for my father the next day. This continued for a good half hour while my father and I looked on dumbfounded. Put out snacks, had the game on the big screen. Still drove them to the airport the next morning, and dad’s wife acted like nothing happened. But regardless, people that said they were coming didn't come. Only one friend and his girlfriend showed up. I mean, what’s not to like about Girl Scouts, the arts, or kids being physically active and learning things like balance and sportsmanship? I fought the good fight from then on, but I never talked to her again. Our skimmable newsletter is delivered to your inbox each week, giving you 5 things you need to read and get smarter. I told her I liked her before but on that day I was going to tell her how I feel and ask her out. And four, I was fortunate … because I was not a child, and I was fortunate enough to have a family that I could fall back on to hang out with that day.

My best advice would be to just be there for her. It is truly amazing how busy people are now, especially families with kids. I am allergic to most seafoods.

All bailed except one, who got depressed and cancelled.

Its difficult to convince her that not everything is done so intentionally by everyone like that, and that it could just be timing, or whatever. 16th birthday was going to be a Super Bowl party. The day before my birthday I got called to an interview where they told me I had a job. Etc. My birthdays since then have been pretty good, though. It is absolutely eating away at me, and I'm sure at her too. For the rest of the night we ate in silence interrupted by her complaining about hunger pangs and how anyone could afford the place she had insisted we all go to. That makes it nigh impossible to come up with, say, a birthday party date that a group of people can all make happen in their schedules.

As the weeks passed and the day grew nearer, Rachael followed up on the page to see what side dishes people were bringing (we were providing hot dogs, burgers, drinks, and cake), but we didn’t hear back from anyone. I'm in my late 30s. I'm not sure if I've had 14 total people show up for all of my birthday parties and I'm almost 27. To summarize, invite less people, have her work on having a few close friends rather than 100 unreliable friends, and plan more concentrated parties with specific games so that everyone can feel included and no one is waiting for anything. The two of us spent most time alone because only 3 hours later the other invited guests arrived. I tried to cheer her up after that and we made some food and ended up having a good night. All their parents found out as well, nobody was allowed to come to my house any more and I didn’t get invited anywhere either. Then, as I’m opening presents, decides it’s best to share how she had found a pair of a young girl’s underwear in a sketchy alley way near her work, and how “she can only imagine the worst”. Let's say you have 6 friends and they said they'd show up to your 21st birthday. I text my friends and cancel our plans. Thank you, , for caring. My birthday is a week before Christmas, so we also brought over some gifts for family members we don’t see often. About ten minutes into the movie she says “Gonna go get another Coke, you guys want anything? The girlfriends mum picks me up (no car at the time because I was living with the girlfriend and paying rent) and we go down to her university and she has to pick up some books so we go to the bookstore and she kills 2 hours in lines and shopping for clothing. Started chatting up the server and mentioned it was my birthday to her and SHE wished me a happy birthday.

I ate cake with my family alone until one family friend showed up. Turns out she had been drinking since around noon, and was starting fights with everyone she came into contact with. She was so excited and was talking about it for months. Most of my friends have multiple kids, and with their own hectic schedules, I strongly suspected that was a major factor.

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