spiritual one liners

THE AFTERLIFE What is money?!! I married Miss Right. He picked up the object and looked at it. To test me, please send money. Thanks for stopping by! As soon as the plane landed, they headed for a store and bought some really outrageous shorts, shirts, sandals, sunglasses, etc. Here is the nitty-gritty by the author of Be Here Now—more than 200 penetrating observations and pithy spiritual instructions on such topics as How It All Is, Love and Devotion, Suffering, Aging, Planes of Consciousness, Death and Dying, Service and Compassion, Psychedelics, Social Awareness, and Liberation. The world is absurd. b. first name (see above) plus name of fruit (Lemon, Lime, etc.) God: These Suburbanites must be relieved in the summer when we cut back on the rain and turn up the heat. “I think the guy’s a big shot,” said the cop. While they were there, the wife passed away.

Lao Tzu Click to tweet, It is in our wild nature that we best recover from our un-nature, our spirituality. Helps the body fight infection. I missed one? I’d have to say my favourites are no.1 and 2 Walkin' plays a major part in the blues lifestyle. After a busy day thinking of everything, what a welcome relief it is to think of nothing. Email: t.conway1@cox.net. Blues can take place in New York City but not in Hawaii or any place in Canada. If war is a necessary evil, why not seek peace as a necessary good? Deepak Chopra Click to tweet, When a man is willing and eager, the Gods join in. The pastor was talking to a group of young children about being good and going to heaven. But why it crossed, I’ve not been told! Those who cluck do not know. * God doesn't call the qualified, He qualifies the called. "No," said the priest, "not if you did not know." Zeno of Elea: Rumi, We are not human beings having a spiritual experience. A young lady came home from a date, rather sad. A man trying to understand the nature of God asked him: “God, how long is a million years to you?” If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher... And that is a good thing for any man. Osho, Enlightenment is ego’s ultimate disappointment. We are sorry for this inconvenience and are working to ensure it does not happen again. Screen. God whispers to us in our pleasures, speaks in our consciences, but shouts in our pains. Johann Wolfgang von Goethe, I would rather feel compassion than know the meaning of it. He originally addressed it to conservative radio talk host "Dr." Laura Schlessinger, who said that, as an observant Orthodox Jew, she found that, according to Leviticus 18:22, homosexuality is an abomination and cannot be condoned under any circumstance. Jiddu Krishnamurti, Love gives us in a moment what we can hardly attain by effort after years of toil. Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)? Seriously, we can appreciate how a luncheon this time of year does not accommodate our Muslim employees’ beliefs. That is why you must read, that is why you must look at the skies, that is why you must sing, and dance, and write poems, and suffer, and understand, for all that is life. Forbidden fruits create many jams. b. jailhouse Meanwhile, I’ve arranged for members of Overeaters Anonymous to sit farthest from the dessert buffet and pregnant women will get the table closest to the restrooms. If you prayed, don’t worry. October 10: I find myself trying ever more radical interpretations of traditional dishes, in an effort to somehow express the void I feel so acutely. If you reach the state where there is neither sleep nor movement of mind, stay still in that, the natural (real) state. Hello Mr. Colbeth. In the back seat were two All Rights Reserved. Then you get kicked out for being too healthy. There is always more mystery. A week later the Rabbi calls * Don't wait for six strong men to take you to church. Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn’t arrived yet.

The answer by one student was so interesting that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now can enjoy it as well.]. No-host bar, but plenty of eggnog! Chicken’s actions have no meaning, except, possibly, to her. Arriving in heaven, he met the glorious God Almighty. the fly fell to the floor, neatly divided in two! The Blues is not about choice. The following conversation ensues: Old Man: I am 92 years old, have a wonderful wife of 70 years, many children, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren. There is no greater investment.Stephen Covey, Our prayers are answered not when we are given what we ask, but when we are challenged to be what we can be.Morris Adler, If you lose money you lose much, If you lose friends you lose more, If you lose faith you lose all. * If God is your co-pilot - swap seats.

--Socrates, d.399 BCE, [Two works of graffiti seen on a bathroom wall:], See yourself as the center of the universe.

November 23: Ran into some opposition at the restaurant. The deeper the grief, the closer is God! Ok? One who knows crying, knows spiritual practice. See that person now. THE REALLY FINAL TRUTH:* And now I want you to make love to Eve.”, And Adam asked, “What is ‘make love’ Lord?” So the Lord again gave Adam directions and Adam went again to Eve behind the bush. Abraham Hicks, Appreciation in advance brings everything you want to you. After a few minutes, sure enough, the female parrots cried out in unison: “Hi, we’re hookers! And I hope more people would meditate and have richer inner lives. Dear God: I have a �problem. I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath.

Little chicken, who set thee free They were perspiring and exhausted when they came upon a small lake. On the monster first hole of play, a par-five fully 630 yards long, Moses hit his drive a whopping 370 yards, right down the fairway's center. A drunk man who smelled like beer sat down on a subway seat next to a priest. Did I miss anything? Only if we care, will we help. Let me talk to her, I'll see what I can find out and I'll The supports required to reach the bottom of the Pacific! Posted in CHRISTIAN QUOTES, ONE LINERS (CHRISTIAN), ONE-LINERS on April 18, 2008| Leave a Comment » We need to seek God Himself more than His gifts. Southern Baptists - Change?!?!?

Don't do a single thing until I get there. What do they do to protect the shrub and tree roots in the winter and to keep the soil moist and loose? (with, For only $60,000, we’ll clear you of all shit happening.

This means to the average person, if you go to a funeral, you're better off in the casket than doing the eulogy. His friend turns to him and says, "Murray, what's going on?" A new monk arrives at the old Italian monastery for his celibate life of shared poverty and prayer, and is assigned to help the other monks in copying the old texts by hand.

Where do you manage to get them from. * Zen is not easy.

Place: A New York City street. (plentiful Pleiadian poop). Michel de Montaigne. The workman decides to have a little fun. "You tried to commit suicide by shooting off your finger? Chickens in motion tend to cross the road. Isn’t that interesting? Shannon L. Alder, You must not let your life run in the ordinary way; do something that nobody else has done, something that will dazzle the world.

It takes effort to attain nothingness.

Alas, he then drowned. the car and he and Krishnamurti got out to confirm the tragic death of the death, taxes, and lost data. There were two lovers, who were really into spiritualism and reincarnation. SHIRLEY MACLAINE-ISM:* Ved Vyasa, If your compassion does not include yourself, it is incomplete. CASH ONLY PLEASE! Darkness was upon the face of the employees; and they were sore afraid; and they looked upon their supervisors and cried: “It is a crock of dung and stinks to High Heaven!”, And the supervisors spake unto the project supervisors, saying: “It is a bucket of manure and intolerably malodorous.”, And the project administrators spake unto the section managers, saying: “It is a vessel of fertilizer and exceedingly strong.”, And the section managers spake unto the department directors, saying: “It promoteth growth and is very powerful.”, And the department directors spake unto the company president, saying: “It augmenteth development and productivity.”, And the company president looked down on the procedure and declared: “AND IT WAS GOOD!”, THE HIGH SCANDAL The lighting is wrong. When you start taking life as fun, the ego has to die, it cannot exist anymore. I’ll give you two statements that will do more than anything to heal your conflicts with loved ones. I’m hearing them scream right now!

And whose fault was that?

God is watching the apples.". 2. Did I miss anything? Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? A quip from Robert Frost: "Forgive, O Lord, my little jokes on Thee, and I'll forgive Thy great big joke on me. She would occasionally walk around to see each child's work. wedding, when it came time for the groom's vows, the pastor looked the “Heaven!” cried out little Suzy. While a void is expressed in this recipe, I am struck by its inapplicability to the bourgeois lifestyle. -- Woody Allen. --Sir Francis Bacon, British scientist-philosopher-essayist-statesman (1561-1626), It is better to know some of the questions than all of the answers. They vowed that if either died, the other one remaining would try to contact the partner in the other world exactly 30 days after their death. That’s what they call it: “the other side.” Yes, my friends, that chicken is GAY. And lead us not into temptation, i.e. Albert Einstein, The personal life deeply lived always expands into truths beyond itself. Thanks for your message, Swati. / Prepare yourself and follow me.” To which someone replied by writing on the tombstone: “To follow you I’ll not consent / Until I know which way you went.”.

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