Thinking about these things again…
Today, I had the privilege of being a part of a panel at Purdue’s School of Veterinary Medicine to present for the students there an explanation of the Indiana RFRA. You know, that’s the bill that got so much bad press for Indiana over the past month.
Anyway, it got me thinking about the issues again, and then I realized that next Tuesday is the day when the U.S. Supreme Court is going to hear the case on same sex marriage in our country. So, I thought it would be a good time to post a few comments about all that.
First of all, it seems like a forgone conclusion that same-sex marriage will be fully legalized in our country. I can’t imagine the Supreme Court at this point in time is going to do anything but issue a blanket statement that same-sex marriage should be allowed in all 50 states and fully recognized by the federal government.
Because of what I understand as the teaching of the Bible, this cultural shift saddens me, but I am not afraid of it.
Wanna know what I really am afraid of?
I’m afraid of Christians failing to act like Jesus in response to all this.
But actually, there’s another thing I’m afraid of.
I’m afraid of Christians continuing to be hypocrites when it comes to sexual ethics.
Two Kinds of Sexual Hypocrites
First, check out this verse:
(9) I wrote to you in my letter not to associate with sexually immoral people— (10) not at all meaning the people of this world who are immoral, or the greedy and swindlers, or idolaters. In that case you would have to leave this world. (11) But now I am writing to you that you must not associate with anyone who claims to be a brother or sister but is sexually immoral or greedy, an idolater or slanderer, a drunkard or swindler. Do not even eat with such people.
1 Corinthians 5:9-11 NIV
This passage helps us identify two ways modern Christians are sexual hypocrites.
First, Christians are loud and vocal about the failings of our society when it comes to sexual ethics while at the same time ignoring the other biblical sins that are put on par with sexual immorality. Did you notice that sexual immorality is mentioned alongside greed, slander, and drunkenness? Oh, it’s easy to blame people who slander. It’s easy to blame people who get drunk. But how easy is it to blame the greedy? Well, it’s easy to blame the greedy if you define greedy to exclude your own lavish American lifestyle!
I confess that I am greedy by nature. I live in a GREAT house with two GREAT cars, many GREAT electronics devices, all kinds of GREAT entertainment, and not a few GREAT articles of clothing. But guess what? I want more. I watch a commercial, read a magazine, see a billboard, and it’s all over for me. Whatever that other thing is, I want it.
And that bothers me. I am aware of my own greed, and I am wrestling with it regularly. I keep wondering what I can release from my life so that I can eliminate the temptation to greed.
However, here’s the point. Christians are vocal about sexual ethics, but we are not nearly vocal enough about greed. If Paul considered them equivalent, we are hypocrites if we talk more about the one than the other.
The second reason Christians are sexual hypocrites is made obvious in a blog post that I just read today that was talking about how religious people are trying to get the government to protect the rights of those who think marriage should be defined as “one man and one woman.” Did you notice what is missing? At least three things are missing from that definition of marriage.
- Based on Genesis 2, we have to conclude that marriage is a “one-flesh union.”
- Based on Ephesians 5, we have to conclude that marriage is a relationship of loving, mutual submission.
- And, based on the teaching of Jesus, we have to conclude that marriage is “for life.”
In other words, the reason Christians can harp on marriage being about one man and one woman is that we are hypocrites when it comes to the other biblical stipulations. If we wanted to truly represent the teaching of the Bible, we should say this:
Marriage is a one-flesh union of a man and a woman who have made an inviolable covenant of mutual submission to each other for life.
With that definition of marriage in hand, we now have to revisit the whole notion of sexual immorality. If sexual immorality is the expression of sexual behaviors outside the context of marriage, then Christians are faced with a very serious dilemma indeed: What percentage of Christians today are themselves guilty of sexual immorality?
Uh…. a lot?
Now, think of these words of Jesus:
(32) But I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, makes her the victim of adultery, and anyone who marries a divorced woman commits adultery.
Matthew 5:32 NIV
How many of us are guilty of adultery or sexual immorality?
Uh… even more?
Then, if you consider what Jesus said earlier:
(28) But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.
Matthew 5:28 NIV
Well, now that pretty much covers all of us!
Therefore, the second reason Christians are hypocrites when it comes to sexual immorality is that we are all guilty of lustful adultery and further, we have pretended to uphold the sanctity of marriage while giving ourselves many excuses to violate it.
Back to Gay Marriage
So the reason I’m not freaked out about gay marriage is really this: what our society calls marriage isn’t marriage.
However, what Christians have been calling marriage also isn’t marriage.
You know what I’m interested in? Real marriage.
Back to Real Marriage
So let me invite you to join me in doing something that might seem shocking to many of you. Stop worrying about how the government views the sexual ethics of others and start paying attention to how God views yours.
Here are some specifics:
- Make a solemn commitment now before God and ASAP with a caring fellow believer that you will eliminate 100% of all sexuality from your life that is outside your marriage. If you are not inside a marriage, you have no place for sexual expression and you will therefore eliminate it. If you are inside a marriage, you must keep your sexuality entirely within it. Regardless of your marital status, this implies the elimination of pornography, erotic novels, and a good amount of modern entertainment.
- If you are married, renew your solemn commitment that you are in it until death and you will do whatever it takes to make it a pleasant journey for you and your spouse until then!
- If you are not married, affirm that you will not toy with the idea of marriage until you are convinced that you can and will be able to submit yourself to another human being for the rest of your life.
- If you know someone who claims to be a believer but is somehow not living by the previous three points, make a solemn decision to confront them on their sin, but if they will not repent, clearly show them 1 Corinthians 5 and say you will love them from a distance until they do.
Now is the time for Christians to stop pointing accusatory fingers at others and start getting serious about living out what we say we believe.
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