Category Archives: Funny

I was (not) in a motorcycle accident

Front Page Funny Personal

On Monday, August 24, 2009, our local newspaper printed the following:

Accident Closes McCarty For 3 Hours

A Lafayette man was taken to the hospital and McCarty Lane was closed for nearly three hours Sunday night after a motorcycle accident.

According to Officer Nicholas Amor of the Lafayette Police Department, Jeffrey Mikels, 28, of Lafayette crashed his motorcycle while leaving the parking lot of Danzers Show Club, 3481 McCarty Lane, at 7:20 p.m.

“All we know at the moment is that he pulled out of the parking lot and didn’t hit any other vehicles,” said Amor. “When we arrived he was bleeding from the head.”

Mikels was taken to Clarian Arnett Hospital after the accident. Officers at the scene said his injuries do not appear to be life threatening.

After the accident, McCarty Lane between Creasy Lane and U.S. 52 was closed.

Amor said alcohol is not believed to be a factor in the crash, but police will not know for sure until a medical examination is completed.

I have been having people contact me for the past couple of days asking me if I’m ok, but so far no one has called me asking why I was driving out of the Danzers Show Club! Anyway, I’m going on record saying, “That was a different Jeffrey Mikels!” Actually, there are three Jeffrey Mikels in Tippecanoe County, Indiana, and one of them has the same middle initial as I.
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Maintain Your Insanity

Front Page Funny

I got this as an email forward from my wife, and it really was good enough to post here.

20 Ways to Maintain a Healthy Level of Insanity (I’m thinking this
could get one arrested, actually.)

  1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and
    point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.

  2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don’t Disguise Your Voice.

  3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, Ask If They Want
    Fries with that.

  4. Put Your Garbage Can On Your Desk And Label It “In.”

  5. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks. Once Everyone has
    Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso.

  6. In The Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write “For Smuggling

  7. Finish All Your sentences with “In Accordance With The

  8. Don t use any punctuation

  9. As Often As Possible, Skip Rather Than Walk.

  10. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat with a serious

  11. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is “To Go.”

  12. Sing Along At The Opera

  13. Go To A Poetry Recital And Ask Why The Poems Don’t Rhyme

  14. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area And Play tropical
    Sounds All Day.

  15. Five Days In Advance , Tell Your Friends You Can’t Attend
    Their Party Because You’re Not In The Mood.

  16. Have Your Co-workers Address You By Your Wrestling Name,
    Rock Bottom.

  17. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream “I Won!, I Won!”

  18. When Leaving The Zoo, Start Running Towards The Parking lot,
    Yelling “Run For Your Lives, They’re Loose!!”

  19. Tell Your Children Over Dinner. “Due To The Economy, We Are
    Going To Have To Let One Of You Go.”

  20. And The Final Way To Keep A Healthy Level Of
    Insanity…….Send This E-mail To Someone To Make Them Smile.

It’s Called Therapy.

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