Wednesday, February 21, 2001 8:05am

Well, this is my second day here in the office. Yesterday seemed to be quite eventful around here, but Lorraine said that Tuesdays are always busy. Tuesday is the day when the financial people count and record all the offering statistics for the previous Sunday. Also, there seemed to be a lot of other activity going on around here yesterday. I went to the prayer meeting with some other area pastors. They do this every other week rotating through the churches for meeting places. It seemed like a good group of guys. I hope they can be a source of wisdom for me, and I also hope that I can be a source of encouragement to them.

I also found out yesterday that Lorraine’s mother is in the hospital now with a broken pelvis. She fell some time ago, but the doctors didn’t discover the problem until just yesterday. I think Lorraine and I will go visit her sometime this week. (My first hospital visit here.) Also, yesterday, Perry Straw asked for prayer since he had to reprimand Mary Martin for something that happened when he was on vacation. Yesterday, I found out that Jen’s mom’s uncle Jim died on Monday. I didn’t know she had an uncle Jim, but apparently he was her dad’s brother. This is all on top of the other things going on in that family this past week or so. With Jen’s grandmother Mockler going into bypass surgery on this coming Friday, and her grandfather Mockler having a mild stroke two weeks ago, this seems to be just one more thing piled on the family stress list.

Yesterday, also, Gary Bledsoe took Jen, Charlie, and me to go look for a desk for my office. We found some that look really nice and aren’t that expensive, so we might go with one of those. I’m not sure I’m ready for that kind of commitment yet, but hopefully, I will be able to make up my mind before the end of the week. It would be nice to work in my own office on my own desk.

Today, I plan on getting together with Roy Mella for lunch so that we can talk about what has been going on in his life and also so that we can talk about the baby dedication for little Gian. He originally wanted to do it on this coming Sunday, but he asked to move it to an early week in March.

Lord, I really need you to show me what this church needs. I feel an incredible sense of responsibility here. Not only do I feel like the spiritual condition of these people has been somehow placed into my care, but I also feel like the longevity of this church somehow depends upon my leadership. Lord, I know that isn’t really true. You are the one who will build Your church the way You want it to be built, but at the same time, You have given me stewardship of this place at this time, and I don’t want to let You down. It’s funny, isn’t it? I worry about letting You down, when as long as I rely upon You, You do Your will in and through me! I can’t let You down as long as I am seeking You with my whole heart. Like David, I want to be a man after Your own heart. Like Isaiah, I want to be a man who is not afraid to tell of the Holy One who dwells in a high and holy place but who also lives with the lowly and contrite. Like Paul, I want to be a man who can enter a church with struggles and reset its focus back on the important things so that it can be effective for Your kingdom. Like John, I want to be able to look at my congregation someday and say, “Dear Children.” Lord, you know I want to be like these men, but most of all I want to be like You. I really want to live my life here and do the ministry here as if You Yourself were walking among us. I want people to see You in me. I want people to look at the effects of my life and forget about me, but notice You. It’s the window and transparency thing all over again. I want to be completely transparent for people to see You through me so clearly that they forget it is me. So that I forget that it’s me. So that the glory truly can be given to You. I love You, Lord. Use me in that way.